a decent day

i feel like God is calling me to do something big. i'm not exactly sure what it is yet. but i know it's something. i have been so agonizingly aware of suffering in this world the past month. maybe it's because once you go through something that rips open every chamber of your heart, and leaves it raw, that it is only then you can truly see the pain that is ALL around you.

i used to be able to go through my life in a different way. i would hear sad news, and i would definitely be sad, but almost as quickly as the sad news shocked me, it was gone. i could go on with my normal activities and be happy in my life. but now, oh it's such a different story. i can't let go of the bad news. my heart is so incredibly broken for the hearts and lives and spirits that surround me. childhood cancer, child death, infant death, financial struggles, hurting marriages, hurting parents, hurting kids, broken homes, broken lives, people desperate for hope and for purpose.

we have some friends that have a little boy named Alex. Alex was adopted from Russia. Alex has cancer. I want to share with you one of the most recent updates from his mom, a lady I have grown so fond of, and have so much respect for. This is what she said:

Alex had a decent morning (he is very swollen as you will see in the picture), but now he is sound asleep with a fever. We read books and hung out this morning, and he even drove the tractor around the wing a couple of times. Then, he threw up, and by noon, he his entire body was just was shaking uncont...rollably. I got on the air mattress with him, and read a book and held him while our nurse gave him some Benadryl to try and settle the shakes down. He went from 98.6 degree to 102.5 degree fever in less than an hour. He is now sleeping, and I hope he continues to sleep through a lot of this. His next antibody treatment will start around 2:00 pm. Thanks for all of your thoughts, prayers, and kind words.

Did you notice what she said in her first sentence?? Alex had a decent morning. Is there anything about that update that says decent to you?! BUT, for him and what he is used to, that WAS a decent day for him. Alex is 6 years old.

that is just a small glimpse into alex's life. if you want to know more about alex, his family, and his illness, you can visit his website HERE.

As we arrived at church on Halloween night to participate in the very exciting Fall Festival at Thompson Station Church, i received an email from our sunday school teacher. One of the families in our church had rushed to the emergency room with their 2 year old little girl, and she was diagnosed with Leukemia. and somehow in the fun, chaotic festivities, i couldn't think of anything except for little Alli, and how she should be here too, but her parents had just received the worst news of their lives. you can find Alli's story HERE

How our lives can all change in a matter of moments. your life can be turned upside down in the blink of an eye. I have so many other stories that have permeated my heart over the last month or so. A 5 year old little boy with special needs, who wasn't supposed to survive at all outside of the womb, finally lost his battle. another mother had to release her 3 day old baby back to heaven the day she got home from the hospital. a spouse trying everything he can to hang on to his marriage with his wife, who simply doesn't want to try anymore. a single mother, trying to raise her little boy, while waging war for the man she loves who is addicted to drugs and out on the streets. a family with two mortgages, but without a job, struggling to make ends meet. so much heartache, so much pain. i can't let go of it this time. i can't go on with my days and pretend like this suffering is not there. God won't allow it this time. He has created a burden, a beautiful burden in my heart for these people. please join me in praying for these special people. you may not know their names, but God does. we may not know their full situation, or even anything about the people suffering, but God does.

and i have learned that more than anything, through every situation, through every heartache, God is still God, and we are His. there is hope in Jesus' name. He has already won the victory and we have a reason to rejoice. i don't want to sit back and have a passive faith. when we worship, when we praise our Father in heaven, we have power over the darkness. Our worship gives us the tools we need to defeat suffering in this world.

"all of my life, in every season,You are still God, I have a reason to sing. I have a reason to worship."