I have always loved the story of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. About a year or so ago, my pastor's wife, women's minister, and mentor, Leighann McCoy put a completely different spin on this story for me and I want to share it with you. I was reminded of this today as I read Daniel 3. This story is a story of obedience and God's provision; of how God rescues us. But deep in the scripture there is a little gem tucked away. In verse 25, King Neb is describing the men he sees in the furnace. This is where we usually pull out the fact that God is with them and that they are unharmed by the fire that was heated 7 times hotter than usual; so hot that the people who threw them into the fire were killed. But look at the word unbound. "He said, “Look! I see four men walking around in the fire, unbound and unharmed, and the fourth looks like a son of the gods.” They went into the fire tied by "some of the strongest soldiers in the army" (vs. 20).
Sometimes we have to go through a fire to be released from the things that have us bound!
Have you ever felt the freedom that comes when you get on the other side of something difficult? How about when you're hiking and going up that hill is exhausting, but then you get to the top and the view takes your breath away. OR maybe you are exercising, and like me you want to quit about a quarter of the way through. But you keep going and when you finish you are so full of energy and joy and confidence, and you don't feel guilty about having that ice cream earlier. I know that these are trivial examples, but the principles are the same in our trials and struggles of life: our fires. Losing my son was one of the hardest things I have ever had to go through. I prayed so many nights that I could just go on to Heaven. I didn't want to feel that way anymore. But I learned to trust in the Lord, each moment and I learned that "even if God does not rescue me" (Dan. 3:18) that God was still God and I had a reason to worship Him. I learned the incredible experience of allowing God to use a fire in my life, and every fire after that, to burn off the ties, ropes, burdens, sorrows, guilt, shame, hopelessness, frustrations, fears and anything else that had me bound.
I was asked just the other day, 'how can things go from thunderstorm after thunderstorm, to things are great and wonderful and joyful?' The answer is simply, Jesus. By His grace and compassion, and the people that took me by the hand and led me to His feet. Jesus burned off the binding ties around my heart and set me free so that I could see the full and abundant life that He longs to give me, even in the midst of pain and struggle. What has you bound today? What has you so trapped in your struggles that you can't find the One who is walking right beside you through your fire? Pray and ask God to soften your heart and to reveal these things to you. Humble yourself and allow Him to set you free! I am praying for you today!
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
The Gift of You
I vividly remember this night 2 years ago, on August 1st. I can still remember that still small voice that spoke to me as I sat in a hospital bed, my mind completely reeling from the traumatic events the night before. God was asking me to choose. Was I going to be angry, bitter and build a wall around my heart so high that nothing or no one could ever hurt me again, especially God? Or was I going to LIVE the words of the songs that I so passionately sang during worship time at church? The words of all of my favorite worship songs began to play in my mind. I knew, in that lonely hospital room, that the fork between the wide and the narrow path lay before me. I had to make a choice.
I wrote this that night:
I chose God. I chose Jesus. I chose the path to healing. I chose the blood, redemption, grace and LOVE. I chose forgiveness. I chose beauty. I chose to submit even when I didn't understand. I chose to embrace every bit of life I had been given. I chose to fight for my heart, which is the wellspring of my life and I chose to take the next step. I chose to keep walking, even though I wasn't sure that there was any possible way out of the despair I felt. I chose to BELIEVE. I chose to trust. And I chose to worship.
It took me a long time to really feel my choice. My head understood my choice a lot sooner than my heart did. I knew all the right answers and the scriptures to back them up. But when I was alone, I questioned and doubted and faltered. I stood on wobbly knees, and I knelt on tear stained floors. The narrow path was not a pretty one. Not in the beginning at least. There weren't any pretty flowers along the road nor were there any nice spots for a picnic. It was dark and scary and lonely. But, when I really focused on where I was going, and quit looking for the flowers and the picnic benches, I saw a light. A tiny light at first. Just a speck, a hint of light that told me to keep walking. That there was something I needed to discover. Just keep your eyes on the speck of light and keep pressing on through the dark.
And slowly, ever so subtly, I would catch a glimpse out of the corner of my eye of a bright and colorful flower. I would smile and almost reach down to pick it up, but would notice the humongous weeds that surrounded its bloom and shrink away in fear. Nothing good can come out of this. Who was I kidding? And then someone dear would remind me of that tiny light again and would remind me to just stay focused. Many times this would happen. Look, there is a flower, but yeah you don't want to touch it. It's probably poisonous anyway. But as I walked forward, the light grew bigger, and the flowers grew more often. I eventually began to pick them up. I tucked them in my heart and kept them close for safe keeping. Until I could see flowers everywhere. When I quit searching for them in all the wrong places, and set my sight on all things above. The were there, all around me. All different colors. And then one day, the light burst forth...
...and I found a picnic bench.
On November 8, 2010, I wrote this:
On November 14, 2012, the Lord spoke into my sorrow, called me by name, and invited me in to see what He had been planning for me all along. He took me by the hand, and pulled me to my feet, when I wasn't sure I could remember how to stand. He said to me, "Come, there are people that I need you to meet. They are on the other side of the world. I love them, and they are mine, but they don't know who I am. I need you to tell them. I WANT you to tell them. I want to give you this opportunity to join me in a miraculous thing that you wouldn't even believe if I told you. Not many people get to experience this kind of story. Many people simply aren't listening. But you...you are following the light. You chose Me. You said yes to what I had to offer you. My child, let me show you ALL that I want to give you. Follow me."
So, I said yes. I chose to follow Jesus. The coolest thing though, besides the whole God speaking into my heart, was that I looked to my left and my dear sweet husband was standing too, going through the same journey as me. He had been suffering right beside me for 3 months, in his own ways, but God knew us. And He knew what He has wanted for us all along, and He brought us both to the exact same spot. Standing side by side in a sanctuary filled with people, committing to a world of unknown. I knew it could mean big things. I knew it would most likely be hard. The only thing I didn't know, was what it meant. Four months went by, and we prayed, "God what does this mean? What does this look like? What do you want us to do?" And then we went to East Asia.
Our world had already been rocked, but now it was being turned upside down. We both knew. This was it. This IS it. Those words that He had been whispering for so long now, "Follow Me." We understood. And we could see the wonderous light. We began to see the beginning of a beautiful tapestry that was taking shape in our hearts. Our mourning was turned to dancing. Perfect love had cast out all fear. Fear was replaced with the peace that passes understanding. And where there was sorrow, now JOY.
In June of 2013, our family will be moving to East Asia to serve for a term of 3 years among the ZZ people. We will begin with 8 weeks of training in the states and by the end of June, we will be loaded on a plane, one of those big ones, all 3 of us with 6 large suitcases. We will be following the Lord, because He is already there. He has been planning every single step of mine since the day I was conceived, no before that, and so far He has done a pretty good job. I can look back on the last 2 years of my life and see that no, it has not been pretty nor easy, but it has brought glory to my Savior, and continues to do so. And for that, I have no complaints. I only have one request. "Lord, lead me."
So tonight, as I recall that lonely night in the hospital 2 years ago, I thank God for helping me make the right choice. And to my sweet baby boy, Kristopher: Happy 2nd Birthday, dear heart. My time with you was oh so short, but, my stars, how precious it was. And I hope that Jesus has you on his lap at this very moment and is telling you the story of your mama, and daddy and your big brother who loves you to the moon and back. and I know He is telling you how much He loves us both. If you had never come and gone, I may have never known what it is to make that choice. To choose faith, even when I couldn't see. I don't know that I would have ever seen that teensy flickering light. You have made such an impact in this world that you never got to see, smell, taste, or touch. You did hear it, of this I am sure. Sometimes I can still feel you kicking me in response to sound. I am so thankful to be your mommy. I cherish your life and on this day, every year, we celebrate the gift of you. I love you.
Lord, I thank you for such an amazing gift. Not just the gift of a child, but the gift of being able to see You in every circumstance. I thank you for your love. Because of that love, I am not consumed. Thank you for your compassion; You have NEVER failed me. Oh and your mercies, praise God, they are new. every. morning. Lord, You ARE my portion. Your plans are worth waiting for. For you are so good to me, whose hope is less than steady. Though my eyes grow weak, I will never give up seeking Your face. I wait quietly, for quiet is good. I wait for your salvation. It will come. Abundantly. This I know, for I have seen it with my own eyes.(based on Lamentations 3:22-26)
I wrote this that night:
after my csection, the anesthesiologist offered to give me some narcotics to help me relax, but i didn't want them. i want to feel every last drop of emotion that is going to come. i could get away from it if i wanted to, but i think that will just make it a longer process. and while it hurts, it's a beautiful form of pain. i dont know if i can describe it. it's a righteous pain, pain in the purest form. pain that is ordained by God himself. it evokes feelings and emotions that He gives us, and it's such a huge mess that He is perfectly capable of cleaning up with a holy disinfectant wipe. i don't want to miss a beat. i wonder if that is weird.
I chose God. I chose Jesus. I chose the path to healing. I chose the blood, redemption, grace and LOVE. I chose forgiveness. I chose beauty. I chose to submit even when I didn't understand. I chose to embrace every bit of life I had been given. I chose to fight for my heart, which is the wellspring of my life and I chose to take the next step. I chose to keep walking, even though I wasn't sure that there was any possible way out of the despair I felt. I chose to BELIEVE. I chose to trust. And I chose to worship.
It took me a long time to really feel my choice. My head understood my choice a lot sooner than my heart did. I knew all the right answers and the scriptures to back them up. But when I was alone, I questioned and doubted and faltered. I stood on wobbly knees, and I knelt on tear stained floors. The narrow path was not a pretty one. Not in the beginning at least. There weren't any pretty flowers along the road nor were there any nice spots for a picnic. It was dark and scary and lonely. But, when I really focused on where I was going, and quit looking for the flowers and the picnic benches, I saw a light. A tiny light at first. Just a speck, a hint of light that told me to keep walking. That there was something I needed to discover. Just keep your eyes on the speck of light and keep pressing on through the dark.
And slowly, ever so subtly, I would catch a glimpse out of the corner of my eye of a bright and colorful flower. I would smile and almost reach down to pick it up, but would notice the humongous weeds that surrounded its bloom and shrink away in fear. Nothing good can come out of this. Who was I kidding? And then someone dear would remind me of that tiny light again and would remind me to just stay focused. Many times this would happen. Look, there is a flower, but yeah you don't want to touch it. It's probably poisonous anyway. But as I walked forward, the light grew bigger, and the flowers grew more often. I eventually began to pick them up. I tucked them in my heart and kept them close for safe keeping. Until I could see flowers everywhere. When I quit searching for them in all the wrong places, and set my sight on all things above. The were there, all around me. All different colors. And then one day, the light burst forth...
...and I found a picnic bench.
On November 8, 2010, I wrote this:
i feel like God is calling me to do something big. i'm not exactly sure what it is yet. but i know it's something.
On November 14, 2012, the Lord spoke into my sorrow, called me by name, and invited me in to see what He had been planning for me all along. He took me by the hand, and pulled me to my feet, when I wasn't sure I could remember how to stand. He said to me, "Come, there are people that I need you to meet. They are on the other side of the world. I love them, and they are mine, but they don't know who I am. I need you to tell them. I WANT you to tell them. I want to give you this opportunity to join me in a miraculous thing that you wouldn't even believe if I told you. Not many people get to experience this kind of story. Many people simply aren't listening. But you...you are following the light. You chose Me. You said yes to what I had to offer you. My child, let me show you ALL that I want to give you. Follow me."
So, I said yes. I chose to follow Jesus. The coolest thing though, besides the whole God speaking into my heart, was that I looked to my left and my dear sweet husband was standing too, going through the same journey as me. He had been suffering right beside me for 3 months, in his own ways, but God knew us. And He knew what He has wanted for us all along, and He brought us both to the exact same spot. Standing side by side in a sanctuary filled with people, committing to a world of unknown. I knew it could mean big things. I knew it would most likely be hard. The only thing I didn't know, was what it meant. Four months went by, and we prayed, "God what does this mean? What does this look like? What do you want us to do?" And then we went to East Asia.
Our world had already been rocked, but now it was being turned upside down. We both knew. This was it. This IS it. Those words that He had been whispering for so long now, "Follow Me." We understood. And we could see the wonderous light. We began to see the beginning of a beautiful tapestry that was taking shape in our hearts. Our mourning was turned to dancing. Perfect love had cast out all fear. Fear was replaced with the peace that passes understanding. And where there was sorrow, now JOY.
In June of 2013, our family will be moving to East Asia to serve for a term of 3 years among the ZZ people. We will begin with 8 weeks of training in the states and by the end of June, we will be loaded on a plane, one of those big ones, all 3 of us with 6 large suitcases. We will be following the Lord, because He is already there. He has been planning every single step of mine since the day I was conceived, no before that, and so far He has done a pretty good job. I can look back on the last 2 years of my life and see that no, it has not been pretty nor easy, but it has brought glory to my Savior, and continues to do so. And for that, I have no complaints. I only have one request. "Lord, lead me."
So tonight, as I recall that lonely night in the hospital 2 years ago, I thank God for helping me make the right choice. And to my sweet baby boy, Kristopher: Happy 2nd Birthday, dear heart. My time with you was oh so short, but, my stars, how precious it was. And I hope that Jesus has you on his lap at this very moment and is telling you the story of your mama, and daddy and your big brother who loves you to the moon and back. and I know He is telling you how much He loves us both. If you had never come and gone, I may have never known what it is to make that choice. To choose faith, even when I couldn't see. I don't know that I would have ever seen that teensy flickering light. You have made such an impact in this world that you never got to see, smell, taste, or touch. You did hear it, of this I am sure. Sometimes I can still feel you kicking me in response to sound. I am so thankful to be your mommy. I cherish your life and on this day, every year, we celebrate the gift of you. I love you.
Lord, I thank you for such an amazing gift. Not just the gift of a child, but the gift of being able to see You in every circumstance. I thank you for your love. Because of that love, I am not consumed. Thank you for your compassion; You have NEVER failed me. Oh and your mercies, praise God, they are new. every. morning. Lord, You ARE my portion. Your plans are worth waiting for. For you are so good to me, whose hope is less than steady. Though my eyes grow weak, I will never give up seeking Your face. I wait quietly, for quiet is good. I wait for your salvation. It will come. Abundantly. This I know, for I have seen it with my own eyes.(based on Lamentations 3:22-26)
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| "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life." Jn 9:3 |
Click HERE to see the rest of the story!
Friday, January 13, 2012
Whatever...
"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things." Philippians 4:8
I'm not sure where I got my negative perspective that rears its ugly head sometimes, but it has a way of distorting the way that I view scripture. Whenever I have read this verse in the past, my mind thinks, "okay, i can't think about bad things." One of my favorite pastors actually says it best when he talks about how, growing up in a small Baptist church, they came to church on Sundays to celebrate everything they didn't do. He jokingly points out a small flaw in many churches, and also in my case, my way of thinking. You see, as a person who grew up surrounded by the Christian faith, there were many things that I was taught NOT to do. Don't drink, don't do drugs, don't talk to boys, don't swear, don't work on Sundays, don't wear underwear with holes in it because you might get in a wreck and have to go to the hospital and what would they think seeing your worn out underwear? You get the picture. So for some reason, when I read scripture, my mind defaults to look for what does this passage tell me about what I can't do if I want to be a good Christian.
"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things."
Ok, so if something does not meet that criteria, then I can't think about it. Simple enough.
But what if there is another side to the scriptures? What if Jesus came not to limit our lives to a big list of what NOT to do, but to give a life FULL of opportunities to DO stuff? Great stuff! John 10:10 tells us Jesus came to give us a "rich and satisfying" life (NLT)! That sounds much more exciting to me!
So when I look at scripture through the eyes of a God who wants me to have a full, abundant, rich and satisfying life, I see all the things that I CAN do!
"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things."
Look at all of those things that I CAN think about! And really, truth be known, it's not that I can think about those things, God actually instructs me to think about those things. And it is an excellent model to use when those creepy crawly little thoughts come weaseling their way into your mind. Paul encourages us to "take every thought captive to make it obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). And this is a perfect way to do that.
I'm going to use my husband for an example here for a minute. Because he loves me and he will forgive me. :)
When I walk through the house and I see dirty socks laying on the floor, it is in my nature to begin grumbling about how he never picks up his dirty socks. Why can't he just take an extra few steps and put them in the hamper. Maybe this house would be cleaner if everybody picked up after themselves, blah blah blah. You know exactly what I'm talking about. But these are all negative thoughts that stem from a sock. What if we use Philippians 4:8 as a thermometer for my oh so holy thoughts.
I'm not sure where I got my negative perspective that rears its ugly head sometimes, but it has a way of distorting the way that I view scripture. Whenever I have read this verse in the past, my mind thinks, "okay, i can't think about bad things." One of my favorite pastors actually says it best when he talks about how, growing up in a small Baptist church, they came to church on Sundays to celebrate everything they didn't do. He jokingly points out a small flaw in many churches, and also in my case, my way of thinking. You see, as a person who grew up surrounded by the Christian faith, there were many things that I was taught NOT to do. Don't drink, don't do drugs, don't talk to boys, don't swear, don't work on Sundays, don't wear underwear with holes in it because you might get in a wreck and have to go to the hospital and what would they think seeing your worn out underwear? You get the picture. So for some reason, when I read scripture, my mind defaults to look for what does this passage tell me about what I can't do if I want to be a good Christian.
"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things."
Ok, so if something does not meet that criteria, then I can't think about it. Simple enough.
But what if there is another side to the scriptures? What if Jesus came not to limit our lives to a big list of what NOT to do, but to give a life FULL of opportunities to DO stuff? Great stuff! John 10:10 tells us Jesus came to give us a "rich and satisfying" life (NLT)! That sounds much more exciting to me!
So when I look at scripture through the eyes of a God who wants me to have a full, abundant, rich and satisfying life, I see all the things that I CAN do!
"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things."
Look at all of those things that I CAN think about! And really, truth be known, it's not that I can think about those things, God actually instructs me to think about those things. And it is an excellent model to use when those creepy crawly little thoughts come weaseling their way into your mind. Paul encourages us to "take every thought captive to make it obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). And this is a perfect way to do that.
I'm going to use my husband for an example here for a minute. Because he loves me and he will forgive me. :)
When I walk through the house and I see dirty socks laying on the floor, it is in my nature to begin grumbling about how he never picks up his dirty socks. Why can't he just take an extra few steps and put them in the hamper. Maybe this house would be cleaner if everybody picked up after themselves, blah blah blah. You know exactly what I'm talking about. But these are all negative thoughts that stem from a sock. What if we use Philippians 4:8 as a thermometer for my oh so holy thoughts.
Whatever is true...
What is the truth in this situation? My husband dropped his sock on the floor. At the moment that the sock came off of his foot and out of his hand, was he thinking about ways that he could make my blood boil? Most likely, no. He was not. Most likely, he had had a long day, and he was tired and he just wanted to get in the shower and get all the dirt from the day off of him so he could sit down with his family for supper.
Whatever is noble...
This one can be kind of tricky. I can't think of many things in my life that are necessarily noble. What do you think of when you hear the word noble, though? Probably something along the lines of royalty, right? Honor, majesty, kingly, loyal. Do those words ring any bells for you. Our Savior is King of kings and Lord of lords. He is the most noble character there ever was. When we think about whatever is noble, we can think about Jesus. And the demons shudder at that name. I guarantee you when you speak that name over dirty socks, your heart will begin to soften. If you are having trouble finding the whatever is true in the situation, try skipping forward to noble, and then go back. It might be a little easier for you.
Whatever is right...
I can make a huge list of things that are wrong with my husband. I've already told you that my nature is negative for some reason. And throw in a little neurotic tendencies and you've got a real doozy. Sorry babe. And dirty socks can sure get me rolling on that list, but when the Word of God tells me to think about what is right, that changes a lot of things. I think about the way he takes the dog out for me, and how he sweeps and vacuums the floor way more than I do, and I think about the way he always, always makes sure the shower curtain is pulled. I think about how he calls me just to tell me that he loves me. I think about the way that he makes our little boy's face light up when he comes home. i think about the way that he holds me at night when it's cold because we are too cheap to have the heat above 68. And when I think about these things, it leads me straight into thinking about...
Whatever is pure....
In the midst of busy lives and dirty clothes and bills that don't subtract as fast as they add, and all the other bumps and bruises along the way...when I stop and think about all the things that my husband does right, I begin to think about how we share a love in the purest form. A love, that is covered with the blood of Christ. A marriage, that has been transformed and redeemed by a merciful and gracious Savior. A bond that cannot be broken by any mortal man nor the evil forces that bring up dirty socks when the mind is tired and weak. I think about two lives that are imperfect and stained and worthless, but when held up to the light of Jesus, we are two vessels that shine brilliantly in the shadow of His glory. There is nothing more pure than the way that Jesus loves us.
Whatever is lovely...
Dirty socks may not be lovely. In fact, there are lots of things about life that aren't lovely. But there are a lot of things that are lovely. Because God created them, and that makes them lovely. Even a dirty sock, when looked at with the right perspective, can be lovely. Thank you Jesus that we have socks to throw on the floor. Thank you God that you keep our feet warm and soft. And if I have to pick up a million socks in my lifetime, I am thankful, because they are lovely, because you provide for our needs. My husband is lovely. He is a lovely creature. His eyes are clear as glass and blue as the sky. He is handsome and strong and he takes care of us. He is a lovely man, with lovely socks. ;)
Whatever is admirable...
My husband has many, many admirable qualities. He is fiercely loyal, he is humble, he is honest as the day is long, he is gracious and forgiving and compassionate. He loves the Lord with his whole heart. If that isn't admirable, I don't know what is.
If anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about these things.
By the time you get to this point, you might as well turn on the Chris Tomlin music and lift those hands. If I were guessing, you'll be at this point way before you make it through all the whatevers. Now that I have used God's word in the face of the enemy dirty socks, I am able to look at my husband with love, not disdain. Because how many times have I done something that bugs the tar out of him? Plenty. And how many times has he shown grace for my flaws? More than I want to admit. And this reminds me that I love him, dirty socks and all, and once again, my heavenly Father has shown me how to look at life with the mind of Christ.
""Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--THINK about such things."
It's not about what I can't think about, It's about what I CAN think about! I know it's a simple thought, but for me, it was a revelation. I am praying that it touches someone else out there also.
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