A few weeks after my baby passed from this life into a life so much better than I could ever attempt to give, in the midst of my grief and pity, God gave me another very clear promise. Through the words in Isaiah, God told me not to fear because I would bear fruit again. He was going to give me another baby and it was going to be healthy and it was going to be a great leader. The only problem with this promise was that the Lord kept saying, not yet. Not that I was any where near ready for that step at that time, but as time went on, month after month, I began to long for that promise.
One year and one month later, almost to the day, He opened the door. Through many different places in Scripture, He told me that it was time to begin seeking this child of promise. At this point, we had already began our journey of moving overseas and we knew that having a baby and moving to another country didn't really fit well together in our minds. However, God graciously confirmed His word to me and took it one step further by telling us that we would have the gift He had promised before we left. So we let that soak in and decided to trust that He knew what was best for us and to allow Him the opportunity to fulfill that promise.
Fast forward a year and a half. Month by month we reminded ourselves that we had said we trusted the Lord with the outcome of this promise and we took refuge in stories of trial and patience and joy found in Scripture. With each month that passed, I silently grimaced every time someone made that happy post that they were expecting their 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th or 5th baby and then immediately felt guilty because I really was SO incredibly happy for them. Now, we had finally reached a point in our walk in which having a baby would seriously interfere with our timeline. And I regret to say that a large part of me stuffed that promise deep into the pockets of my heart and I told myself that I must have just heard incorrectly. It definitely wouldn't be the first time. And so we decided that it was time to put this hope on hold and move forward through the doors that God was swinging wide open and come back to the closed door later.
Three years feels like a long time to wait for something. But as soon as I am tempted to think that I am reminded of the stories of Sarah and Abraham who waited 25 years for their promised child and David who waited 15 years before he was able to hold the position promised to him. My goodness, the Israelites (bless their hearts) wandered in a desert for 40 years before they finally made it to their promised land! There are so many examples of promises that were right on time in the eyes of the Lord but in our flesh, seem like an eternity. Most of the time, those reminders are very humbling and cause me to kneel and say "Thank you Lord for the life you have given me, and I trust you with every moment of my future." But then there are other times when 3 years is simply a long time.
That brings me to today. Three years after we said hello and goodbye to our long awaited and highly anticipated second son. Almost three years since the day I heard the promise from God that is well worth waiting for. We celebrated today. Every year we take this day off from everything in life that rushes us and takes us to the next moment and choose to live that day to the fullest and as a family enjoy all that God has done in our lives. This year was no different. I was concerned that it was definitely going to look different this year, because of our location. But God showed up big time and gave us an incredible place to spend our day of rejoicing. He even gave me sun rays on the ride home, which has always been a special Jesus kiss on my hard days. He always sends me sun rays.
Happy 3rd Birthday Kristopher! I can honestly say I have a PERFECT 3 year old! He is just "angelic!" :) I am so grateful that God gives us so many reasons to celebrate.
In fact, He even gave us an extra reason this time, three years later...
We are going to have another baby!
Coming in late February 2014, the proof that God does fulfill every single promise that He ever makes, down to last detail. You can do the math. We left in June. I think sometimes, God knows that I just need to laugh!!
I have to say that the shock is *almost* gone and we are getting very excited. At the same time, there are many points of concern. We would appreciate your prayers, not only as we live and minister overseas, but also as I live PREGNANT overseas!!
